My Random Desires List

Everyone has dreams and aspirations, things that they hope to accomplish before they die.  A lot of people refer to these dreams as a “bucket list”.

I can’t really think of a good intro for this post, so let’s just get right into it.

I am NOT going to post my bucket list.  That seems sort of boring to me.  This isn’t going to be the list of all the places that I want to go and the celebrities that I want to meet and the fun/successful things that I want to accomplish in my life.  This is going to be a list of all of the weird, random things that don’t really matter all that much that I want to do in my life…the “unimportant” things.  The things that seem silly and that I can do right here at home.  The zany and the weird.

So, without further ado…here is my “Random Desires List”.

  • Dance in the rain with someone else.
  • Be brave enough to go see the new My Little Ponies movie alone…by myself…because I want to.
  • Eat a macron.
  • Cook and eat a vegan meal… even though I’m not
  • Order a vegan meal at a restaurant…even though I’m not
  • Go out to a semi-fancy sit down restaurant by myself.
  • Go out to the movies by myself and order a large popcorn with extra butter and a large drink…no shame.
  • Spend the whole entire day in a bookstore. Arrive when it opens.  Leave when it closes.  Don’t leave once.  Use their bathroom and order food at least three times from the café.
  • Walk around my neighborhood barefoot for more than an hour.
  • Eat ten grapefruits in one day.
  • Pet a snake.
  • Read seven books in a single week.
  • Convince someone in my family to come and see Goodbye, Christopher Robin with me when it comes out and watch me bawl my eyes out. (Look out for a review of this movie after it comes out!)
  • Dye my hair blonde, even though I’m terrified of what people will think.
  • Get my first boyfriend.
  • Participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) in November and actually pull through and write a book this time.  (Be my buddy!  TheCrazyWriterGirl)
  • Blast Christmas music right now…even though it’s only October.
  • Write at least two blog posts every week. (I’m back guys!  And I want to be here to stay now!  Thanks for the support.  I would really really appreciate a follow if you enjoy what you are reading!  Bookish posts to come as well!)
  • Just be me. 😊

So, there’s my list!  What’s a “random desire” that you have?  Maybe it’s something crazy.  Maybe it’s something that you’ve been afraid to do.  Maybe it’s a goal that you have that just seems a little bit out of place on your regular “bucket list”.  Share it in the comments below!

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DNFing Books and…Gilmore Girls?

Hello everybody!  Welcome to me blog!

I had no idea what to post on my blog today.  But, then I was scrolling through Facebook on my phone and got involved in a discussion on a bookish page that I follow about dnfing books and I got the idea to dedicate a blog post to the topic!  See? Scrolling through Facebook CAN be productive.  😉

Before I begin the rest of the blog, I would like to make an announcement!  I have decided to turn every Sunday into Book Talk Sunday!  Now every Sunday will be dedicated to bookish related things!  If you decide to follow my blog and are interested mainly in book related topics, then you are in luck.  I have decided to set aside a day once a week just for bookish things so that I make sure that I am still discussing books frequently on this blog (a passion of mine), but that I also have time to talk about other things that I am passionate about that I want to discuss (the reason why I decided not to make this channel strictly bookish).  I hope that you enjoy Book Talk Sunday!

So, dnfing books.  This is something that several people struggle with.  What is dnfing?  DNF stands for “did not finish” and can sometimes be related as a shameful thing in the bookish community.  Some people choose never to dnf a book, and that is definitely an opinion that I respect.  But, I have never been someone to shy away from dnfing a book.  If I’m not feeling it?  I dnf it.  If I hate it?  I dnf it.  If I’m in a book slump and don’t feel like reading?  I dnf it and come back to it later once I am no longer in a reading slump.  Unless it is a book for school, I have never ever finished a book that I have hated.  And that’s why the only book that is on my hate list is a book that I was required to read for school: aka Animal Farm by George Orwell.  Don’t hate me.  Yes, I know.  I know.  This is a very well beloved classic novel.  Maybe I didn’t like it because I wasn’t able to fully comprehend it at the time when I read it.  I was only in like 9th or 10th grade when I read it.  (Which I guess was only five or six years ago. Lol.)  The only concrete reason that I remember having for hating it was that those pigs freaked me out.  And like, not just scared.  I have literally had NIGHTMARES about those freaking pigs.  Even the cover looks freaky! See?

And there are several different versions of the cover of this book that look just as creepy, if not more creepy, than this one does.  There was one that I found that really freaked me out, but I was trying to save the kids, you know?  Yup…the kids.  We’re sticking with that.

But, anyways, moving on.  Maybe I’ll try it again someday.  But for now it stands as the only book that I have ever completed that I hated.  (Besides a couple of super boring westerns that I can’t remember the name of.  But, let’s forget about those…)

I dnf books all the time.  But I struggle with naming a list of books that I hate because I don’t like to count books as on my hate list unless I completed them.  So, that question has always been difficult for me to answer.  Anyone else have a problem with this?  I try to be extremely careful about which books I pick out in the store as well because I like to try to keep the books that I dnf down to the bare minimum.  And because of that, I hardly ever stray from a select couple types of books that I know that I already love.

I have noticed that this has been a problem for me and I really want to branch out in what I read.  Recently, on another reading page that I follow (this is going to be another instance where Facebook was actually not a waste of time), I saw a few ladies talking about the Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge and it really intrigued me.

So, I looked it up.

The Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge consists of every single book that Rory Gilmore ever talked about or was seen reading on the TV show Gilmore Girls.  And that list consists of…wait for it…339 books!  A lot of those books are classics.  There are some funny ones, some children’s books, and a few with very strange titles.  Out of 339 books, I’ve only read a few of them.  Less than ten.  It’s quite a pitiful number.  And I’ve decided to read them all, even the few that I’ve already read (I love rereading books).

Image result for rory gilmore reading

This list was originally compiled by Australian writer, Patrick Lenton.  This brave soul went through every single episode of Gilmore girls, and there are a lot of them, and wrote down every book that was ever mentioned or shown in the show.  You can find a link a Buzzfeed article with a list of all the books in the challenge write here: if you are interested in participating yourself.  I like this challenge because it has no time limit and no commitment to finish reading anything super fast, something that I struggle with.

Now, what the heck does the Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge have to do with dnfing books?  I was thinking about the challenge and realized that in order to complete this challenge I will have to read some books that I may not enjoy.  I always dnf books that I hate.  I never finish anything.  But, I also never try anything new.  Even though refusal to dnf books often seems pretty silly to me, it can also be a good thing.  Because maybe it will show me something that I might actually like, show me a genre or a style of book that I never really thought that I enjoyed before.

I think that a good balance between dnfing books and not dnfing books should be found.  Sometimes it’s okay to dnf a book that you’re not feeling, but don’t let excessive dnfing stop you from reading books that you might actually enjoy by not giving them a proper chance like I often do.

Maybe this wasn’t actually very helpful and maybe it got you even more confused on what to do about dnfing books, but maybe it also got you thinking about something that maybe you’ve never really thought about before.  At least, I hope that it did.

Good bye until tomorrow.  See you then!

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I Hate Running?

I didn’t try as much as I should have when I was in school, specifically in middle school and high school, but it got much worse as I got older, to the point where I almost didn’t graduate high school my senior year due to low grades in a class that was required to graduate that I was only doing bad in simply because I hardly studied and often didn’t do my homework.  I find, looking back, that I didn’t try hard at all in areas of study that I hated, simply because I didn’t want to.  But in other areas- reading, writing, algebra, personal finances, computer typing- that I really enjoyed, I usually did great, turned in all of the homework and did extra credit assignments because I loved to do it.

And that’s always been a problem of mine.  I hate to try new things.  I hate to try and get better at things that I don’t like.  I put them of and keep putting them of until it’s either too late or nearly too late to even try.  Without people in my life such as my mother and my grandmother who forced me to try new things: I would never have learned to read or snow ski or have gotten a job or done anything useful with my life.  I would have just always stuck to my safe little bubble with the couple of things that were easy for me and that I already knew that I liked.

Without the people in my life who constantly are pushing me to get out there and do things, I would just sit at home all day watching Netflix and browsing Facebook, never ever making anything of myself, skipping out on all of my potential.

Recently though, I’ve been looking back on my life and all of the things that I have and haven’t done and I’m so, so happy for all of the things that other people forced me to do throughout my life, because most of them turned out to be things that I loved to do or things that I didn’t end up loving but helped me to be able to get to things that I did love to do.  But, I also look back at me life and can see all of the things that no one forced me to do that I didn’t do simply because I didn’t want to, it seemed too hard, or I was afraid to try and I am ashamed of how little that I have actually accomplished in the 20 years that I have been alive.

Recently though, I have been trying to change that.  I am trying to become a new person who isn’t afraid to speak her mind and do things that are hard and just be my crazy self.  That’s one of the reasons why I started this blog.  Because I’m trying to do all of the things that I have just been thinking about doing for years and not actually doing.  And that’s also the reason why I started running.

I have never been a super skinny person, but I’ve never been obese either.  My weight has always been something that I’ve put on the back burner as something that I can’t fix or something that maybe just takes more effort to fix than I was ever willing to put into it.

But, a couple of months ago I stepped on the scale and saw that I was 197 pounds.  A few years ago, I was only about 145.  I haven’t grown taller at all during that time.  And I decided right then and there that I was never going to join the 200-pound club.

I started running.  I’ve never been into sports.  It was always one thing that I’ve disliked.  But I’ve always really admired runners.  Running was always that one thing, that one sport, that I really wanted to do.  I am athletically slow.  It is harder for me to do athletic things than the average person in the same health otherwise as me.  I’ve always wished that I could run long and fast like the kids on the track team.  But, again, running was always one of those things that I just never tried.  I was too slow, too fat, too stupid, too horrible at it, to ever try running, I thought to myself.

But, I am here to tell you, when you think that you are too slow, too fat, too stupid, too horrible to try, that’s when you should try the hardest at something, because if you never try, then all of those statements that you’ve been telling yourself become true.

When the demons come into your head telling you who you are and what you should be, FIGHT BACK and tell them, NO! THIS IS WHO I AM! and DO IT ANYWAYS.

A couple months ago, I started running.  It was horrible.  It sucked.  I hated it.  I wanted to give up.  I couldn’t run for 30 SECONDS without feeling like I was going to die.  And you know what?  It’s still horrible sometimes.  I still suck.  But…I no longer hate it because I didn’t give up.  And I am getting better.  I am still extremely slow, but am slightly faster than I was before.  I can now run about 3 minute stretches before having to stop because I’m gasping for air.  I now go out for nearly an hour, alternating between running and walking the whole entire time.  Before, I went out for about 45 minutes, but I would often take a five or ten minute break halfway through.  I’m training for a 5K and hope to be able to run one (alternating running and walking every few minutes throughout the race) by the end of the summer.

My whole life I have thought that I was incapable of running, that it was something impossible for me to do, that I should never try, so I didn’t try.  I missed out on being a part of the middle school and high school track teams, something that I know that I would have loved, all because I was too afraid to try.  I thought that running wasn’t something that I could do and I am currently proving that old belief wrong.  I CAN run.  I CAN do this.  And yes, it’s hard.  And yes, I’ll never be an Olympic runner.  And yes, I’m extremely slow.  But I love it, and it’s something that I CAN DO.

My challenge to you is to try something that is hard for you, something that you’ve been afraid to try or something that you think you would be horrible at, and just do it.  Stick to it for a little while.  You might find that with time you actually enjoy it and that you were missing out on something amazing before simply because you refuse